As Pastor I believe God is calling us, as a church congregation to strengthen the marriage relationships in our church. He has led us to study the “Love and Respect” series on marriage and I want to use this material to create a “ministry” to marriages in the congregation. So  I will post a teaching from the “Love and Respect” series. Some weeks it will be directed to the marriage relationship in general, and some weeks to husbands or wives. I hope you will take time to read these devotional thoughts and that they will help you to apply the principles that are taught by Dr Eggerichs.

 

There is an important decision that we as couples must make. We must decide that our spouse is loving and/or respectful. We must let this decision become the “filter” for the relationship. Dr. Eggerich talks about “peppered eggs”, which his wife Sarah loves, and he dislikes. Sarah has fixed him peppered eggs hundreds of times. He and Sarah made the decision that she is not being disrespectful by adding the pepper, and that she is not doing this to change or irritate him.

Linda and I have a similar situation with mustard and garlic salt. She likes mustard on sandwiches and garlic salt on steaks, though the years I have developed a tolerance for the garlic salt, but still don’t like mustard. I don’t know how many times we have had the “irritating discussion” on the subject matter. She lets me know that for years she has put garlic salt on my steaks and I never complained. I only complain when I see her shaking the salt on the steak. So I truly relate to his story.

I think we all have these differences and so it becomes important to make a decision when events like these throw us into a crazy cycle of unloving and disrespectful behaviors. Husbands make a decision this week that you wife truly respects you for who you are deep inside. She is not out to change you, to irritate you or to hurt you. Wives make a decision this week that your husband truly loves you, he is not out to change you, to irritate you, to hurt you. Whatever he does he does from a heart of love.

This decision is one of the most important lessons from “Love and Respect”. It becomes the filter through which events and conversations are drawn. Let’s put this one principle in place this week.

(This decision and the peppered eggs story is found on page 20 in “Love and Respect”, Dr. Emerson Eggerich, Thomas Nelson, Inc, 2004)